a christian reflection on having a crush

"A part of you wants to say run as fast as you can from a crush, it might be easier. But I think if we lean in, there is something to learn about ourselves and the God that made us."

Every girl knows that feeling when you finally admit to yourself you have a crush. It is filled with giddiness and complete terror. It is a moment of delight and apprehension. Life is a lot easier without a crush and it's a lot harder when life takes that crush away through disappointment.

And these feelings are further colored by big ideas of purity and the sovereignty of God for those who choose to follow Jesus. I just want to be a girl with a little flick and then I remember that the call is greater for us on this side.

There are really sweet things about a crush: you looking forward to a message, to his post, or to the the long-awaited sign that this is mutual. There is nothing more endearing to our girlish hearts than the hope of romantic love. And this desire to be in a relationship is real and honors what God has placed in your heart: to love and to be loved. A crush is the welcome beginning of this. Thank God for it.

Amid these sweet ideals, the enemy of our soul wants us to believe that a crush is all there is in this world. We invest too much in the ideal of a person we hardly know and may not even like us back, instead of the real, tangible life we have in front of us. Ask any girl who has had a crush, it can be the most mind-losing time of your life. And the fantasies we contort at best rob us of the present joy, and at worst soil our minds in ways that demand repentance.

This crush thing is tricky.

A part of you wants to say run as fast as you can from a crush, it might be easier. But I think if we lean in, there is something to learn about ourselves and the God that made us.

I have had many in my 26 years (can we also talk about how awkward crushes are as an adult, why do I still feel 12?). And as I get older, I see the responsibility in liking someone. It is a chance to bring so much before God: him and his life, your idols, your hopes and fears, and full surrender. It is kind of an intrigued responsibility to bring this person to the Lord. And as we bring him to the Lord, let us rush to bring all who sit in our minds to hi,m too.

To have a crush is a constant reminder that we are not in control. That our feelings, no matter how wholesome, cannot be our guide or hope.

So whether this crush sparks love that lasts for decades or it fizzles because you figured out he is not the one, it is not all lost. These crushes, or flicks as my college friends liked to call them, are forming something in us to want love and to share in it. There is nothing more true than that feeling. All creation yearns for love, so there is no shame in it, only room at the cross to fill it.

So my prayer for the Christian girl with a crush, is that you would pray with all hope and with all patience, that God really is using it all for his good purposes. So whether the crush lasts two weeks or twelve months, it is what God is using right now in you to call you nearer to Him.